I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
