Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
