Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
