I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
