All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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