i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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