it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
