jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
