Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
