garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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