We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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