I want to walk on stilts...naked
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
And then he peed in my hair
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