How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
