my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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