He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
