You're so nebulous sometimes
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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