i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
