the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
