I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Randomize