Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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