If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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