Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
