I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
