Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
