I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
