yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
