Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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