We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize