you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
