I heard we made out
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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