Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
