i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i dont even know how to be here
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
