Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
