I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I want her autograph on my taint
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We need a shit load of segways right now
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize