I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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