Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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