Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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