Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
