at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
