New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
