you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
