his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
