but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
