i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
