She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
