id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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