Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
