Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
