google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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