yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
