my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
