Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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