Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Someone signed my nipple.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
