Will you blow on my dice?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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