Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
