there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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