dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
