cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
