Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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