We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize